I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize