We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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