I cannot find my penis.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
