Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
