I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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