I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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