this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize