You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
