Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
