So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
