I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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