I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
