How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
