Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize