My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
