I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize