Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
