I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
