I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
