i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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