We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
