I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
