Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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