this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize