On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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