His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Enjoy the penises
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
