just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
