whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
