You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
