Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
