What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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