the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
