I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
