Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
