kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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