Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize
