Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
