so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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