She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
