If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize