dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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