Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
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its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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