Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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