At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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