Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
