4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
This girl is more easily done than said...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
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she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
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OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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