I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize