Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
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The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
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So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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