would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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