I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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