Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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