No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
