I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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