I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
