Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
