You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
